The House

It was 1934 and they were one of millions forced to move into a big city to make ends meet. They were a simple country couple. They had known what working hard for what you have very well. They had both worked as hard as they could with their families on their farm. They had realized that the only way their families could keep the land was if they moved into the big city to work in a factory. The nearest city happened to be New York City where you could never have peace and quiet even if you tried. They were given a house to live in by an old family friend, who wasn’t going to charge them rent, just as long as they took care of the property while they were there. They both aquired jobs in local factories and were to send as much money as they could back to their families. They had never been in a house in the city so they were unsure of what to expect. They had come from a big farm house that was built originally by his great grandfather. The house could fit at least two average sized families comfortably. They were so used to having space around them.

When they first approached the house they realized that it would be very different than what they were used to. The houses on this street were right next to each other. They were used to a home that, eventhough it was old was well maintained. This house was already very old and was falling apart. There was no doubt in their minds when they first walked in that they were the first to live in it for at least a decade. The house was tall and narrow and they were never fond of something that they had to walk upstairs to get to everything. They never could understand how anyone could live like this. No where but up; it just felt cramped. They knew they didn't have a choice but to live there for the time being. The stairs creaked as they ascended to the middle level. There were so many rooms but none big enough to live in. It didn't make sense. The first room off the stairs must've been a closet; it was too small for anything other than brooms and dusters. But then they opened the next door and it too was a closet? They thought this was very puzzling. How many closets did one house need? They were so disappointed in the stairs. After the last season on the farm the woman could barely get around because she was injured with some of the equipment. They had hoped for something small and simple. And unfortunately this house just seemed to go upwards.
They looked around on the second floor some more and couldn't seem to find the bedroom, or really any room that could be used as a bedroom. So they went up to the third floor. Once they got up there they saw only two doors. They were confused because the middle level seemed to have fifteen and the bottom floor ten. They opened the first door they came to and found a spacious bathroom. Clawfoot bathtub like most houses in the area and a luxury that they never thought they would be lucky enough ever in their lives in a home. A heater in the bathroom. They were always used to having to run to the local bedroom to heat up after exiting the bath but here they could just stay where they were and get ready for work quickly. The tiles looked like they were cracking and should be replaced. But they knew they would never have enough money to do that so they both agreed to just put down a towel near the tub so they wouldn't get hurt. They were tired and remembered that there was a mention of the house coming with a bed in the master bedroom so they were hoping to find it and just lay down for a little while. They entered the door just down the hall and just stopped and looked around. The room was so small. They couldn't believe that something that was on the top floor and the only room on the top floor could be so small. They couldn't understand it. They were so used to the rooms in their oldfarm houses that could fit a couple of large king sized beds to sleep all their siblings and still have room to move around. This room barely fit the queen sized bed that was shoved in the far corner. They were both disappointed but knew that it was only a matter of time until they could move back to the country and get their families old farms producing crops again. Their families were counting on them earning enough money for them to be able to replant all the crops again. When the drought hit their land it killed everything. That land was all they had to make money from. They knew they would only have to live in the city for a year then they could go back to the lives that they were so acustommed to, they were just hoping that they can survive this house that long.

Setting: Front Seat of a car parked in a parking lot.



Jane: This is getting to be really difficult. I don't know what to do anymore.

Robert: It'll be okay. Just give yourself some time to relax.

Jane: Heh. I wish I could remember how to do that. It seems harder and harder. I have picked up smoking almost an entire pack a day to try and remember how to relax and I just want another drag.

Robert: (Sighs)Maybe if you come to the bar with us this weekend you can relax and maybe meet someone new.

Jane: I don't think I'm ready to meet people. I can't handle my own thoughts right now what makes you think that meeting someone will help my situation?

(They both take a cigarette from their packs and both start fishing in their pockets for a lighter)

Robert: (Getting slightly aggravated) Fine just come to the bar you know watching Dana get drunk and then hit on random guys will at least entertain you.

Jane: (Smirks) It does but like I said I don't think I'm ready.

(They both light their cigarettes and take a drag. They sit there in silence then Robert gets out of the car and slams the door in aggravation.)

Robert: (In an aggravated tone) Okay then you can try when you're ready.

(Jane gets out of the car but stands still next to the car with a look of shock and contemplation.)

Jane:(monotone) Ready? Ready? Ready for what? How will I know I'm ready? (frustrated tone) There's no way of knowing anymore. I can't tell up from down or left from right. How would I know when I'm ready? (takes a quick drag and starts to raise her voice.) I can't feel. I do one thing that is supposed to be fun and I end up feeling like shit. I don't know what to do I don't know why any of this is happening. So how am I supposed to know when I'm ready?

(Robert drops his cigarette and steps on it. Jane stares into the distance smoking rapidly.)

Robert: I don't know what to tell you. I am here for you when you need a friend. Maybe if you just focus on doing what you want to do you might be able to get distracted enough to forget about her.

(Jane throws her cigarette on the ground and Robert calmly steps on it. Short pause)

Jane: What is there for me to do though? I can't think of how to fix my car let alone myself.

Robert: (Yells) You know what I can't answer everything for you. I have tried my hardest to help you and all you have done is turn me down. You know you had no choice to leave her. She wasn't helping you get anywhere in your life you said that so much when you were planning your move back and now all you want is her back but you know you can't do that. All I want to do is help because I care about you but I can't help you when you can't decide if you want any help. Do you just want to be left alone? Or do you actually want my help?

(Short pause)

Jane: (Yells back) I want a friend to be here for me. Just be here. I don't need suggestions just support. I didn't ask for your answers I just wanted you to be here for me. We don't always have to try to fix every problem that comes up.

Robert: (Regretful tone) I know I'm sorry. I...I just don't know how to be supportive without trying to help you fix the problem. I want to be here for you but I can't take this back and forth about how you can't live life anymore.

(Robert hugs Jane then steps back.)

Robert: I don't know what to tell you. I know I can't tell you what to do just that you do have a purpose even though you may not know it. I just wish we both didn't feel helpless right now over the same issue. Now I have to go we both have work early tomorrow. Go home and go to bed. It'll be better in the morning. You know it will.

(They share a tight hug then Robert exits and Jane sits back in the car and lights another cigarette and drives off.)

There is so much hurt and pain in this world. There is so much hurt that people put each other through. It's all needless. Why? Maybe that is a question that will never be completely understood by mankind. We all want peace with each other but there is a part of all of us that no matter what we do wants the opposite. Most of us have the ability to know better and keep that side of ourselves under control. And yet we still fight wars we still have people that make decisions to send others to die without a care. What makes them have the power to send people into a suicide mission? Maybe they look at numbers of people being sent in as just that numbers and not lives. The soldiers in wars across the world are dieing. There is an unfortunate loss of blood in this world that can be defined as needless if everyone realized how to just sit down and talk things out. Granted most of those in power are men and all men are taught at some point and at some level that talking things out is worthless in certain situations and all you need is violence to solve the problems. That has never been a good answer and now we are going into wars across the world to control each other when no matter what all we need to do is stop keeping people from progressing and just keep communication open with one another. I believe that we can come to a world peace where we are all in unison. It will only happen because of a world war 3 which is looming in the future. I do believe it is in the near future instead of farther off like a lot of historians were first thinking. There is no way of knowing exactly when. But just look at where we are today. America is trying to be the controlling power over the world and is stretching itself thin over the middle east. By 2010 we will be completely in the Middle East and Europe will be up in arms and turn it's back completely on the "Tyrant". Why is it that this country is run by egotistical beings that won't compromise? I know we are in the middle east for good reasons but we don't need to have complete control like we are trying to get. They are to govern themselves so we should let them. I know that there is nothing we can do what has been started must be finished. I know I will see it first hand. There is no avoiding it. I am going into the reserves but will be activated at some point during my time in the service to see time in one of these wars. I am in support of all the troops I just wish we didn't screw up everything in Iraq the way we did because we may not have to be there anymore. I have one thing to say. It will be an honor to serve my country and to protect those in this country. I will serve to the best of my abilities without a doubt. Just remember I am not going to be alone serving in this countries military. There are thousands of soldiers already serving this country everyday. There are thousands who have already served with their lives. Let them be in your thoughts as the holidays are approaching take the time to think of those who are not as fortunate as we are to be with our loved ones right now. There will be those who will get word that their mother, daughter, wife, father, brother, husband is no longer with this world or is missing around this time. Even though we are all living this time of year to the fullest there are still soldiers kicking in doors while you are sitting down with your families. Never forget they are just doing their job to keep us all safe. Just take a moment and pray or whatever you want to do for them and their families. There is unfortunate fighting happening and while that is going on just remember the soldiers who are over there fighting right now. They are just like you and me. As I start my transition to be one of them I will find more and more respect for the soldiers in this world. I hope you will never lose respect for those of us who even with the war still sign up to help. I will leave you with these thoughts. Have a good day.

location: Middle of my thoughts mood: thoughtful music: We Believe by Good Charlotte

Two roads diverged in a yellow wood,
And sorry I could not travel both
And be one traveler, long I stood
And looked down one as far as I could
To where it bent in the undergrowth.

Then took the other, as just as fair,
And having perhaps the better claim,
Because it was grassy and wanted wear;
Though as for that the passing there
Had worn them really about the same.

And both that morning equally lay
In leaves no step had trodden black.
Oh, I kept the first for another day!
Yet knowing how way leads on to way,
I doubted if I should ever come back.

I shall be telling this with a sigh
Somewhere ages and ages hence:
Two roads diverged in a wood, and I--
I took the one less traveled by,
And that has made all the difference.


Sometimes we need to be reminded that the road that everyone else takes for their lives isn't necessarily the best one for you to take. Just remember that when you are making your decisions from day to day. You'd be surprised what happens when you think more about what you want and not what others would want you to do.

mood: thoughtful

The house was all wrong for them. They came from a rural area with large homes on farm land that went for as far as the eye could see. After the stock market fell and money became something that only rich saw they needed to move into the city to try and make a living. It was New York City where no matter how hard you tried you could never really get peace. The houses were right next to eachother and you were lucky to not have to share a home with multiple families. This couple was one of the lucky few. The aunt of the woman owned this along with many other homes and was able to do well even with the entire country in a huge depression. They were being given this home and jobs in the bank that the aunt ran. Rent was taken out of their paychecks before it went to them so they didn't have to worry about making ends meet and pay rent at the same time.
This house was already very old and falling apart. There was no doubt in their minds when they first walked in that they were the first to live in it for at least a decade. The house was tall and narrow and they were never fond of something that they had to walk up stairs to get to most of their house. They never could understand how anyone could live like this. No where but up it just felt cramped. They knew they didn't have a choice but to live there for the time being and that it was very nice of the woman to let them stay there for pennies on the dollar but it would never be comfortable. The stairs creaked as they ascended to the middle level. There were so many rooms but none big enough to live in. It didn't make sense. The first room off the stairs must've been a closet it was too small for anything other than brooms and dusters. But then they opened the next door and it too was a closet? How puzzling to them. How many closets did one house need? They were a simple couple they only needed two bedrooms, one kitchen a bathroom and a front room for entertaining. They also only wanted one floor because after they had gone skiing the winter before this one she had twisted her knee and it was difficult for her to do much walking of any kind. And unfortunately this house just seemed to go upwards to get to everything. They looked around on the second floor some more and couldn't seem to find the bedroom, or really any room that could be used as a bedroom. SO they went up to the third floor. Once they got up there they saw only two doors. They were confused because the middle level seemed to have fifteen and the bottom floor ten. They opened the first door they came to and found a spacious bathroom. Claw foot bathtub like most houses in the area and a luxury that they never thought they would be lucky enough ever in their lives in a home. A heater in the bathroom. They were always used to having to run to the local bedroom to heat up after exiting the bath but here they could just stay where they were and get ready for work quickly. The tiles looked like they were cracking and should be replaced. But they knew they would never have enough money to do that so they both agreed to just put down a towel near the tub so they wouldn't get hurt. They were tired and remembered that there was a mention of the house coming with a bed in the master bedroom so they were hoping to find it and just lay down for a little while. They weren't able to get much sleep on their train ride into the city because there were so many people that they couldn't get comfortable enough to fall asleep so they just stayed up all night talking. They entered the door just down the hall and just stopped and looked around. The room was so small. They couldn't believe that something that was on the top floor and the only room on the top floor could be so small. They couldn't understand it. They were so used to the rooms in their old farm houses that could fit a couple of large king sized beds to sleep all their siblings and still have room to move around. This room barely fit the queen sized bed that was shoved in the far corner. They were both disappointed but knew that it was only a matter of time until they could move back to the country and reclaim their families old farms and start fresh again.

I remember my first job. It took me months to find it, and the only reason I was able to get the job was because of an old family friend who was in charge of hiring and human resources for this company. It was a small family-run flower shop in downtown San Jose named Blossom Floral. Last I checked the company had closed about a year ago and the space was being taken over by the club next door. I went in there, completely enthusiastic to do whatever they needed. They hired me as a seasonal worker to process the incoming flowers and put them in the cooler, then clean the cooler and the empty flower containers. After my first day I wanted to quit. It was disgusting work and we ended up having to work 10 hours that day. The next day was worse; I worked 12 hours to get through everything. I didn't know what I had let myself get roped into. The job only paid minimum wage, which at the time was only 6.75 an hour. On top of the work being really demanding I had to start the day on a low note because I always had to park in a lot that I had to pay $12 for which never made any sense because it would take almost two hours of work to just make up that loss.
Day after day I realized I enjoyed working in the cooler. It kept me away from the other workers and I loved the cold so I was in my element there. Every once in a while someone would wander in to see what that one flower would be that would just “make” their arrangement as they would always say. It also kept me out of the back room with all the other workers who were all at least two decades older than I was which they took as an open invitation to give me advice on everything. I never really cared much for it so if I were forced back there I would move as quickly as possible to finish my task and then go back into the cooler to my peaceful work place.
As Valentines Day approached I was forced into the main work area while Larry, the owner, worked as hard as possible to get more help. That shop forced me to hate roses. The amount of roses that passed through my hands in one day made me want to never see one again. We would have to take the thorns off and then take off the leaves, dip as many as we could in the water with the rose solution in it and cut the tips then immediately throw the bunch into a bucket. We were always running low on buckets so we would have to fit three-dozen roses into a bucket for one dozen. There were always casualties in that and by the end of day one Larry broke down and bought an extra twenty-four buckets just so we could survive.
On the third day we had another two helpers with the roses so I was put back into the cooler so the buckets could get cleaned faster and we wouldn’t end up getting backed up with the processing. I would put twelve out to get filled, as fifteen more buckets were lined up to get organized into the cooler. I was always running into the arrangers and before I was done with putting the newly cut roses and flowers into the cooler another twelve buckets would be empty and ready to get cleaned out again. We were running around like maniacs talking with each other slightly aggravated because we were all miserable and by the end of each day we were all unable to move. There were five long twelve hour work days three of them were spent in the cooler and I never thought it would end.
After the week was done and the Valentines nightmare was over I was told that I would be getting a phone call for more work later on that following week. I never expected it I just needed that job for a reference to get a better one really. I didn’t care anymore if I went back in there again. I was sick of flowers but I knew what flowers went best with what and why. I could also name a flower by the look or just the smell. I decidedly dumped all that information since. By Wednesday the following week Larry had called me to come in to help them make a brochure for the shop so that they could advertise to the local businesses. I think that was the best job there. I was in my area of expertise then. I went in everyday after class for two weeks tweaking every detail and taking pictures of the arrangements. I would scan in pictures from magazines or take pictures of arrangements that the shop had out in the front area for customers to see. I ended up needing to get a new computer for the shop and went with the secretary to pick one out at the local Fry’s store but we ended up spending more time in traffic getting there and back than we did looking and buying the computer. Once I was done getting the pictures and information that Larry wanted in the brochures I was able to get everything put together pretty easily. I ended up making two brochures that they immediately sent out to all their current clients and local businesses. I ended up keeping a copy of both for my portfolio but seem to have misplaced both. It doesn’t matter anymore looking back on it they weren’t all that great anyways. I had never done anything like that before then and never want to again. I can’t stand the idea of being cooped up in an office all day looking at formats and pictures for advertising for clients it’s just not for me.
The employees there all ended up falling in love with me while I was making the brochures and I ended up getting very attached to them. They all decided to take me under their wings. I was trying to make the brochures during mid-terms and so there were days I needed to work on a paper or study and they knew I would get more done there, which was true, than if I was at school or with my boyfriend at the time. So they all told Larry to bring me in because the cooler needed extra cleaning and none of them could do it so I was brought in for a full day and only had an hours worth of work then I went to hide up in the attic area and just studied the rest of the day away. I appreciated that and I think that’s why I ended up passing my classes that semester.
After my brochures were done the shop slowly stopped calling me to come in for shifts. I also stopped going out of my way to call them up to ask for any. Every once in awhile Larry would call and ask for me to come in for a couple of hours here and there but I never could justify going in to earn a couple of dollars after paying for parking so I would turn him down. Then we just stopped calling altogether until one day I drove past the shop and saw that it had closed for good. I ended up parking nearby and walking up to it to look inside and see what was going on with it but it was completely empty. There was a sign in the window for the club next door to be able to sell alcohol from the location so I realized that there was no more shop. I was sad to see it go but knew that it would never have lasted long anyways because of how badly Larry kept track of how it was running. So I ended up moving on and finding a new job but I will never forget that shop with all the nice people and the flowers.

Life is one long path that has it's fair share of bumpy roads. There will be times that your car breaks down and times when your car runs perfectly. You just need to remember you will never be given a path you can't handle. Just stand up and say I will succeed I will get through this and keep on moving and you will get through it all and feel even better about yourself than before.

location: Work Office mood: calm music: So Small by Carrie Underwood

Acceptance
Category: Life

I just have to say that I am getting so sick of people saying that they live their lives by what they believe is right because of an interpretation that they are taking from a book or person. I mean I can't be me anymore because I can't blindly follow something when it says it's not ok to do something that over the centuries it has been done and then fully accepted by society and is practiced daily by those who follow with complete faith. I am not trying to bring anyone person or group down I am just trying to say if you want to follow something and prove that you are in fact 100% devoted to it then do just that follow what it says 100% and let me know how that works for you. You also need to stop letting others tell you what it is that something says or someone says because people are jadded by this world and in that you listening to someone else who has the possiblity of being more jadded than you are is just going to make that interpretation of whatever it is they are preaching on even farther away from what you are truly supposed to be doing. I am sorry if this rant offends someone it is not intended to hurt. I just want everyone to stop and think about what it is they are truly following and try to actually follow it 100% the way they are supposed to and let me know how that works for them. I don't see how we can persecute others in this world for doing something that is against our beliefs when we go against what our beliefs say as well. It's all in interpretations and we need to watch out because there are religious books that have been around for centuries and we need to remember that we are reading a book that has been interpreted hundreds of times by hundreds of people and who is to say that someone didn't get something wrong along the way. We are all still only human and no matter what you say about it we all make mistakes. Please just stop to think about who you are about to judge and persecute and think about what you are basing it off of. Maybe it is you that needs to stop and study a little more before you leap to a final conclusion as to who is truly doing something wrong. Also remember that it is not your place to persecute and judge anyone in this world. We are all here together to love one another so instead of trying to harm or judge someone just give them a hug and remind them that they are stilled loved in this world.

why can't i breath when i'm around you
why can't i wait to hear your voice
why can't i seem to go a day without wanting to be near you
why can't i seem to live without you in my life

mood: gloomy

He promised he wouldn't do this but he did. He promised that he would help if I needed it but he was no where to be found. He promised he would stay near me so I could be more secure but he wasn't anywhere to be found. He promised but then he couldn't follow through and I am so thankful for that because if he had I wouldn't have met her.

I was left alone at home for the weekend my parents had gone out of town. I made him promise not to tell anyone so that I could finally find time to study and then spend sometime with him. At 730 that night the first round of people showed up and he was with them. I couldn't get them to leave he was being so insistant that I just let them stay that I couldn't say no. So I made him promise to help clean up and keep things in line. He was passed out drunk by 2 and I had to clean up. Around 9 he promised that he would stay near me because I was afraid of what some of the other guys wanted to do to me and then when I was feeling overwhelmed I tried to find him and he was no where to be found. Where could my knight in shining armor have gone off to so quickly after he made that promise? Then when I was walking towards the stairs to hide in my room I met her. Her name is Samantha but I call her Sam. She looked just as uncomfortable as I was. I couldn't believe what had become of my house. I started to talk to her and we realized that we were only interested in getting away from the party that was forced on both of us by our boyfriends so we went up to my room and I locked the door. We talked for a little

location: downstairs

Hold me 'til you can't hold me anymore
Love me 'til you can't love me anymore
Be with me 'til you can't be with me anymore
Talk with me 'til you can't talk anymore
Help me 'til you can't help anymore
Care for me 'til you can't care anymore
Kiss me 'til you don't know how to kiss anymore
Make love to me like you've never made love before